Words Of The Cze

NICKNAMES:
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT:
• When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY:
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that shedoesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS:
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS:
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE:
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS:
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE:
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP:
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL:
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING:
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

not taking credit for this.

http://arsenal-mania.com/articles/3107715/Do-Arsenal-play-too-much-and-why-Song-is-key.html


Recently, a comment by Ronald Koeman on Arsenal caught my eye. "They play lovely football, but I can not see Arsenal winning the league in England or winning the Champions League. Arsenal play too much when I compare them, for example, to Chelsea."

Last year, Myles Palmer made a similar observation although he put it in terms of possession - "Arsenal have too much of the ball". I accepted this comment as true without thinking much about it. I guess my thinking was that it was similar to my complaint about the fact that Arsenal had no penetration and terrible movement around the box. That was last season. Koeman made his comment this season I thought instinctively that it was incorrect or outdated.
What does "play too much" or does "have too much of the ball" really mean. What does it mean for the team and is it still true?
I didn't really know how to get an objective answer but I went on to Arsenal TV and looked at the highlights from every single game last season for a subjective view. I do have a day job, so you can safely say I didn't earn my wages last week.
The great thing about watching highlights for this particular purpose is that highlights are really about chances and goals so you get to know how the team attacks and how they defend. You see when Arsenal lose the ball that leads to the opposition attack and vice versa.
First of all, I can tell you right now that it was a little bit embarrassing to watch last season. At the beginning, I could not remember who had scored in some of those early games so I genuinely didn't know when the goals would come. With my knowledge of the team as it is now, I realised after watching the first 6 or 7 games that I was constantly expecting a pass that wasn't made, I could almost see how a goal would come when I saw a chance developing but it didn't.
By the time I got to the last game, I had started wondering why the commentators were saying things like "they play beautifully" or "they play as good as Barcelona" or other crazy superlatives. When you compare how the team is structured now and how it executes on the pitch this season with last season, you can only conclude that Arsenal were superbly inefficient last season.
Arsenal mainly played 5 in midfield after a disastrous start to the season created paranoia about defence and midfield. Five in midfield was meant to compensate for our bad defensive performance and lack of strength in midfield and also give Arsenal an extra attacking player to compensate for playing one striker. But what it really gave Arsenal was an opportunity to keep possession and do precisely NOTHING else.
Arsenal players are good on the ball. With 5 players in midfield, there was always someone available to take a pass and then another pass. We kept the ball in midfield and thought we were playing well with sky high possession stats. That's what Koeman and Palmer meant. We played too much and had too much of the ball.
Then when we attempted to go forward, we lost the ball and could barely stop the opponent in midfield or in our goal area. Our midfield was so crowded with 5 players that there were no clear areas of responsibility. Everybody was kind of running into each other. With one pass, the opponent could take out 6 Arsenal players from the game and if we were unlucky and that was most of the time, Sagna and Clichy would be out too since they generally joined the keep-ball in midfield leaving Gallas and Touré to defend.
William Gallas and Touré were on two different planets. That is so clear now when watching last season. Gallas would run to stop danger assuming Touré would support but Touré would not be on the same wavelength and that would be it.
Quite interestingly just about every commentator and fan spent last season complaining about or suggesting a series of crappy remedies for Arsenal's problems. They lack a defensive midfielder. They lack a centre back. There are no wingers. The goalkeeper is not good enough; they are not strong enough in the tackle, they are not experienced enough; they didn't spend enough money here or there.
None of these were really the core problem about our play. Myles Palmer called it correctly about what the core problem was – the only problem statement that one could build a solution on. We simply had too much of the ball and could not penetrate.
I am surprised why the following reasoning did not occur to me last season. If you have problem with one or two positions then the transfer market can solve that. Then yes, you could say we need to buy this player or that. However, if you have problem that is manifesting itself in defence, in attack, in midfield and even in goal then the solution cannot be the transfer market unless you want to and can buy 8 players in one season i.e. replace your entire squad. When you have a problem that shows its symptoms in every position, what we should have been thinking of is change the squad or change the system to fit the squad.
I cannot remember anyone mentioning a complete overhaul of the system to fit the squad last season. We should be quite happy that Wenger thought of it and did it.
It is now so clear just how important the change of system to 4-3-3 or 4-1-4-1 has been to Arsenal. Alex Song is the most improved player in the premiership by a long way in my book and Fabregas has scored 9 goals so far. It is miraculous for a young player to make such a leap in just one year – it is less than a year really. I have to shamefully admit that I would have been up for selling van Persie in the summer and I had assumed Gallas would go. But yet those players are no delivering so much. Why such a big change? In my view it is not just the growth of the player it is the fact that the system is showcasing the best of the squad Arsenal has – the best each player has. Basically, we have been wasting skills that Song, Fabregas, van Persie and Gallas always had by playing them in the wrong system or with the wrong partner.
Alex Song has clear responsibilities in an uncrowded midfield and so does everyone in their own position. Robin van Persie doesn't need to come and get unnecessarily involved deep in midfield because too many passes are going on without much reaching him. Bacary Sagna and Gaël Clichy can go forward knowing that it has to be decisive and they must follow it through because losing the ball is going to cause a counter.
Yes, Arsenal played too much and had too much of the ball last season - BUT not this season. Koeman is wrong to say that about Arsenal this season. Arsenal's problems are now more singular positions like the goalkeeper and a bit of worry for cover for Song.
Towards the end of last season, Andrey Arshavin was on fire. He made such a difference to Arsenal for one key reason. Instead of succumbing to the over-availability of players in midfield to play passes with, he would ignore Arsenal players close to him and take on defenders. That made chaos of Arsenal's ping-pong passing structure but in that second of chaos, it confused defenders and allowed Arsenal to be dangerous. Arshavin broke the structure.
This season, Thomas Vermaelen partnering Gallas and the switch of systems combined with Arshavin is responsible for how much better Arsenal are. Samir Nasri, Tomas Rosicky, Abou Diaby, Denilson, Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott and even Emmanuel Eboue can now play their part in this team more naturally. Eduardo, van Persie and Nicklas Bendtner have to adapt more than anyone else. van Persie has done well so far and Eduardo will get his chance.
My hope is that, this situation makes it much, much clearer about what and who Arsenal need from the transfer market in every window.

FORT HOOD, TX—Following Army psychologist Nidal Malik Hasan’s shooting rampage on the Fort Hood military base last week that left 13 people dead and 30 others injured, fellow Muslims across the nation sent him a message today, saying “thanks a fucking bunch, asshole,” to the 39-year-old killer. “Hey, great, eight years of progress right down the shitter,” St. Cloud, MN resident Zahida Naseem said at one of dozens of impromptu rallies held nationwide. “And you just had to scream ‘Allahu Akbar’ while you did it, didn’t you? May as well have put on a turban and rode a fucking camel right through the army base, you dick. Thanks for making the foreseeable future a living hell for normal, peace-loving Muslims in this country. Really appreciate it!” American Sikhs are also reportedly enraged with Hasan, and an official statement from the National Sikh Heritage Center read, in part, “look, we got nothing to do with that guy.”

Six o'clock on Friday evening
Momma doesn' t know she's leaving
'Til she hears the screen door slamming
Rubber squealin', gears a-jamming
Local country station just a blaring on the radio
Pick him up at seven and they're headin' to the rodeo
Momma's on the front porch screamin' out her warning
Girl you better get your red head
Back in bed before the morning

Nine o'clock the show is ending
But the fun is just beginning
She knows he's anticipating
But she's gonna keep him waiting
Grab a bite to eat
And then they're heading to the honkey tonk
But loud crowds and line dancing
Just ain't what they really want
Drive out to the boondocks and park down by the creek
And where it's George Strait 'til real late
And dancing cheek to cheek

Ain't going down 'til the sun comes up
Ain't givin' in 'til they get enough
Going 'round the world in a pickup truck
Ain't goin' down 'til the sun comes up

Ten 'til twelve is wine and dancing
Midnight starts the hard romancing
One o'clock that truck is rocking
Two is coming, still no stopping
Break to check the clock at three
They're right on where they want to be
Four o'clock get up and going
Five o'clock that rooster's crowing

Ain't going down 'til the sun comes up
Ain't givin' in 'til they get enough
Going 'round the world in a pickup truck
Ain't goin' down 'til the sun comes up

Six o'clock on Saturday
Her folks don't know he's on his way
The stalls are clean, the horses fed
They say she's grounded 'til she's dead
Well here he comes around the bend
Slowing down, she's jumping in
Hey mom, you're daughter's gone
And there they go again

Ain't going down 'til the sun comes up
Ain't givin' in 'til they get enough
Going 'round the world in a pickup truck
Ain't goin' down 'til the sun comes up

Since the tackle on Theo Walcott by Ridgewell in the Birmingham game there is some debate going on about what is allowed when a player tackles and what is not allowed.

I’m going to try to give an overview on how a ref should handle the different cases that can happen on a pitch. This is based upon the rules and also on the instructions we get every season from our FA.

First of all I like to point out that what will be called a tackle in this article occurs when a player throws himself in the direction of the ball or a player. If a players makes an interception by staying on his feet we have another situation but I’m going to leave that out my article. I’m afraid it will be long enough.

Let’s start with the easiest of things : the frontal tackle. We all know that kind of tackle. A defender goes in with one or two feet and throws himself to the ball/attacker  that is running towards him. This is always a foul. It doesn’t matter if he gets the ball or not. The attacker has no chance of getting out of the way and he can only hope and pray that the defender doesn’t brake his legs.

For the past couple of years I have called this the Eduardo tackle. Apart from giving the foul you also have to give a card because a dangerous attack should always be punished with a card. When you jump in with two straight legs it should always be a red card. When you go in with one straight leg higher then the ball it is always red. When you go in with one straight leg on the ground and touch the ball first you can come away with a yellow card.

A little bit more difficult is the tackle from behind. The reason for punishing tackles from behind is that a few years back a lot of heavy injuries happened on the Achilles tendon of good players. Players could be waiting for the ball, and then suddenly a defender comes in sliding and hitting the Achilles tendon of the player who can’t get out of the way.

A tackle from behind is almost always a foul. The problem for a defender is that when he throws himself in he, normally, has two legs. With one leg he goes to the ball but the problem is his other leg. If a defender can make an interception with one leg and doesn’t touch the attacker with the other leg than play can go on. But if his second leg, as we call it in our jargon, touches the other player it just is a foul.

So when we get to learn our rules and they tell us to give a lot of attention on the second leg of the tackling player. It is mostly that leg that makes, or doesn’t make the foul. Touch him with the second leg and it is a foul.  If you throw yourself in with 2 legs and hit the player it is off course always a foul.

To come back on the tackle on Theo the Birmingham player touched the ball but he had thrown himself in a way that he couldn’t stop his movement after touching the ball, and therefore would collide with Walcott. He came from behind the player so Theo couldn’t anticipate what was coming.

Ridgewell touched the ball with his right foot and with his left foot he took out Walcott. So a definite foul because a) the second leg making contact and b) it was dangerous as it came from behind.

He could have gone away with a yellow card but if you want to keep it tight a red card can be awarded. Not blowing a foul in this case was…not good refereeing as I will put it gently as I am in a good mood today.

And last but not least: the tackle from the side. The laws are less strict on this as it is regarded as less dangerous.

When a player makes a tackle from the side and only touches the ball it is no foul. Simple. When you make your tackle and you first play the ball and then you slide further and touch the other player it is no foul unless your challenge is violent and therefore dangerous.

But you must touch the ball first; this is very important. If you hit the man first and then slide further and touch the ball you see the defenders pointing at the ref to show him that hey touched the ball. This is nonsense off course. If you hit the player first it is always a foul.  It doesn’t matter if you touch some ball later on.

And then you got the 50/50 tackles as I call them. Man and ball at the same time is a foul. I know in some parts of the world it is seen as the “manly” part of the game. “We are no pussy’s” and “it’s a man’s game” is often heard after a tackle like that. But it just is a foul.

Also with tackles from the side you have to look for the second leg coming out sometimes. It happens when a player looks to have cleanly hit the ball but then sticks out his other leg and makes contact.  Sometimes defenders do this as a reflex.  He makes sure that the attacker doesn’t get away even if he doesn’t hit the ball.  That is also a foul.

Hope I have made some things clear but I must say that in real life it isn’t always as simple as you see it in written.

personally, i prefer the remix below. much better. i'll explain why in a minute.



not bad, are they? much better with the beats too.

i might actually bother following this pair, except one big major turn-off. 

they BREATH louder than they sing. bloody hell it seems to me that every half-bit nowadays think they can sing without even bothering to master regulating their breathing cycles n rhythms. irritating as hell.

look, when the guy with the funny hair wrote the piece, he didn't insert any sounds or notes or lyrics into tt blank beat there. so there isn't supposed to be any sound. zilch. if there was meant to be breathing the piece would be accommodating it. here, it's just plain disruptive.

spoilt an otherwise impressive performance.

and i don't care what all the fanboys think or say; they sing better than they look. i also prefer janice, n i prefer her previous hair.

As it is the FIFA-hurt-your-players-week we could take a look at what a member said a few days ago.

We all know the tactics used by some teams where some teams will even resort to sending signals from the bench to players to stay on the ground, ask for treatment and then as soon as the game resumes they are reborn just as if Jesus Christ himself was the one that cured him by miracle.

By such a tactic the team wins over a minute of valuable time which all too often is not won back at the end of the game.

Another time wasting method that drives me mad is the goalkeeper. I think you can see it every home game in the Emirates as long as it’s 0-0 or even worse 0-1. Arsenal produces an attack but the ball goes wide.

As soon as the ball goes over the line the goalkeeper doesn’t look for the ball. No, he first runs the whole length off the pitch to point out to an attacker that it was him that lost the ball and then he goes to all his midfielders pointing where they should have been running, what they should have done, then goes to his defenders to tell them that their defending was bad because you didn’t do this an you did do that, meanwhile asking them what they would like to drink in the bar after the game.

After telling every player what he has done wrong and taking the orders, he looks behind the goal and aaaaah look there is the ball. He then walks as if it was a Sunday afternoon with bright sunshine and if he was walking with his wife and kids in the park towards that ball, checks if the ball has still enough air in it.

Looks for a spot to put the ball and it has to be precise because you don’t want to miss kick the ball don’t you. After 7 attempts finally a  decent enough spot is found.

Then you go to the goalpost. Kick some mud off his shoes, and again because there still was one little bit of grass on his shoe.  Then he looks up the pitch and sees that the players are not in the right place so he has to adjust that and you can’t believe it but those players get the message wrong and he has to adjust it once more. This can take a few minutes and when you are lucky the ref makes a signal, which the keeper didn’t see because he was too busy giving his instructions.

(May I say that the Spanish ref in the game at Standard was very good in dealing with this situation because after 5 minutes the keeper of Standard tried to pull this off but from his first attempt the ref warned him and a few minutes later he got a yellow card so he had to stop this game. )

Here’s another thing that irritates me, (and yes I saw Manonne do it against Fulham, but I really hate it and would like to see it come to an end).  When the ball goes to the goalkeeper he takes the ball with his feet to one end of the box, very slowly off course,  and then he waits for an attacker to come over and then he puts his hands 2 mm away from the ball and waits and then finally picks up the ball. Some keepers even manage to put the ball back on the ground and wait some extra seconds before they actually kick the ball.

Last week, FIFA vice president  Jack Warner, not an unspoken person himself,   said that it would be a good idea to send a player that simulates a severe injury off the field for  5 minutes.  It also is used in rugby I was told although I’m not sure about the rugby situation.

Now would this help football in general, and also help teams like Arsenal, that try to play to win a game by playing football and which don’t try to park the bus in front of goal and try not to lose, by any means?

I think it could prevent time wasting with the injury tactics. But as pointed out this is only one  of 3 general time wasting manners teams use.

I’m not a FIFA vice president but I think there could be a solution for the other time wasting by goalkeepers also.  In CL games there are as many balls as there are ball boys or girls so when the ball goes past the goal the ball can be in the hands of the keeper within a few seconds.

Maybe the 4^th ref can use a stopwatch from the moment the ball is back in the playing field, put there by the ball boy and then the keepers gets 10 or 15 seconds to put the ball in play. If he doesn’t succeed a corner would be given to the other team. I bet the goal keeper would run his ass off to put the ball back in play.

The other situation described is even simpler to deal with. When the ball goes to the goalkeeper and he can take it in his hands (ie not a back pass) he has to make an immediate decision: use his hands and then has to kick within 6 seconds (that rule still exist) or not use his hands and then he cannot pick it up anymore and can only use his feet.  Not many keepers would take the risk of dribbling an attacker and they will choose to kick it up field to avoid a major blow to their team.

I think it would benefit the attacking teams and be a major blow for the park the bus teams that  use every second to stop the game from being played.

some of my friends are well aware of my low tolerance for amateur attempts at playing politics. i also dislike it when ppl blatantly fling their stress around on their faces. as far as i'm concerned, if u're stressed then take action. if the action stresses u out then ok fair enough u have a claim on others. if u can't take action then it ain't yr prob, don't be stressed.

which is why i'm particularly annoyed by ppl who are stressed over playing politics. bunch of fucking retarded idiots. 

go away. i'm not interested in yr oh-i'm-so-pitiful-the-world-is-out-to-get-me stories, unless u wish me to mock u. 

especially when u work in registry. the registry doesn't produce anything, it only processes. the most base of all vocations. if u're willing to take all the perks of the position, with its comfort n its inside information n of course the opportunity to listen in superiors, then u bloody well shut up n learn to take the shit tt comes with it.

i don't see my intel colleagues grumbling n complaining n shamelessly denouncing the world when shit happens. it's taken in our stride, n we do our job as best we know.

maybe tt's why we're intel, n u're a fucking clerk. bottom of the food chain, must u puff yrself up so much to feel tt u matter, tt the politics somehow involve u, tt u're not merely another admin NSF to the higher powers, someone who'll be gone in less than a year, a character they hardly need to waste any energy on? an easily replaceable piece of furniture, an unskilled cubicle dweller?

it isn't abt u. it never was. but u don't get it, do u? bulltard.

now get out of my elite, uncaring face. 

Have a good 13th Anniversary, Le Boss. Never mind what they say about the past five years. Hebert Chapman had five empty years too, then look what happened.

Now go get that Champions League.

The Gunners, the Gooners and the Goonfathers.

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

wasn't a bad night yesterday. hadn't stayed out tt late for quite a while. but it does seem tt LANning and drinking at once is too much to accomplish properly in one night.

anyways, i woke up this morning to see this:




for the appreciation of the astute, knowing few.

aawwwwww.......

 ( handwritingwizard.com )

once again.

i actually got a response this time.

Hiding in caves can be really boring. Sometimes, Islamists tell jokes to keep themselves going. Sometimes, they share them with intel dudes like us, who actually try not to be too trigger-happy.

One day, an Israeli touched down at the Beirut airport. He was greeted by a gruffy Lebanese immigration official, with a complex security form to fill in.

"Name?"

"Carl Obelski."

"Gender?"

"Male. Duh."

"Be polite sir. Length of stay?"

"I'm sorry. Two weeks, maybe a bit longer if my business takes too long to wrap up."

"Purpose of visit?"

"Official business."

"Occupation?"

"No, I'm just visiting."

DAVENPORT, IA—In what eyewitnesses described as some kind of terrible dream come true, a warm and viscous liquid identified only as blood…dear God, blood…spilled forth from every conceivable direction Monday.

According to sources still able to speak, the blood first appeared shortly before dawn, horrifying dozens of citizens stirred awake by its ceaseless dripping. While many details remain unclear, including why, why won't it stop and is that…are those…Jesus Christ look, the situation has by all accounts only worsened with time.

"It's everywhere," said area resident Phillip Reynolds, who claimed he never knew such cold and unrelenting fear. "The blood is everywhere."

Accompanied by an odor at once familiar and yet strangely foreign, the blood has reportedly begun to flow from the walls, the floors, and, in several isolated incidents, has emerged from a child's sandbox. In addition, no, no, oh, no…what happened to all the lights?

"Please, get it off me," said grade-school teacher and mother of three Janice Wilkins, who appeared to be floundering in a crimson pool of unknown fluids. "It's in my hair. Oh, sweet Lord, it's in my mouth. Please."

The blood, which appears to flow as if from hell itself, is only one of a growing number of concerns for residents. Living city council members said that unless someone manages to extinguish that fire, and whatever it is that is down there stops multiplying, little else will matter once night falls.

Dozens of civilians have reported missing loved ones, and many more have been unable to contact friends and family members since all telephone lines are currently not functioning, either from overuse or the result of a power grid coated in human gristle. Furthermore... Brian—is that you? No, Brian, don't!

"Just make it go away, I beg you," said David Mitchell, who added that he and another passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. "I can't stand looking at it anymore. I just can't stand it. What have we done?"

According to what sounded like a passing loudspeaker, all men and women are being urged to remain calm, seek immediate shelter, avoid contact with all rodents or small dogs, and, under no circumstances, to answer their front door.

Before becoming unintelligible, the loudspeaker is also believed to have instructed all residents of faith and moral conviction to please begin praying.

"I never thought it would end this way," said 43-year-old Charles Deere, one of countless eyewitnesses who now wish they were blind. "If only I had been among the first to go. One of the lucky ones."

"Added Deere: "Oh, God, here it comes again…"

Despite working closely with a number of law-enforcement agencies, emergency medical units, wastewater-management specialists, disease control centers, and several of the nation's leading cryptozoologists, authorities said they will not have any more information until some fresh batteries can be found, or that girl who burst screaming into the hospital emergency room late last night regains consciousness.

With hope reportedly fading, a number of citizens nonetheless remained optimistic, and insisted that help is—help has to be—on the way. In addition, the few residents still with heads claimed that this will all be over any minute now, and that very soon everything will be back to normal.

"They're coming to rescue us, I just know it," local nurse Teressa Harding said over the din of that terrible pounding noise as she sat with surviving neighbors in her attic. "It's only a matter of time. We're all going to be okay, I promise."

As of press time, the window, the window, the window—Jesus fucking Christ, what is that awful thing in the window?

today i woke up to an SMS saying rayshio has left the country.

no, not my NJ contemporary. that one i am just barely acquainted with.

this other rayshio however, i know well enough to not wish him anything but ill. a coward, a liar and a bully deserves nothing else.

it occurs to me that a rant i made quite some time abt rayshio might had been misread by others. they might had mistaken it for Rayshio of NJ, same year as mine. i assure, they might share the same name but they are quite different.

this rayshio i despise so much has the English name Ray, and a spells his surname Shio. i believe it's an idiotic mispelling, which suits his personality perfectly well. he was and continues to be called rayshio in order to differentiate from his friend, Ray Chua.

seeing that he's left SG, probably for good, i suppose there's no reason for me to rant abt him anymore. though i might owe those distressed by the long-ago post. i apologise if you mistook this rayshio for that one.